Why I am starting this blog…..

Thank you for taking the time to read my very first ever blog post. This is a very personal blog, you probably wonder why I am going to blog publicly about something so personal, well after sitting in the bath last night sobbing my heart out, I realised that I bottle my feelings up far too much and this then results in crazy outbursts which can not be good for me or my other half. I don’t have family that I can confide in and at the moment I don’t feel able to speak to my friends, which is crazy I know but it’s of fear of either just bursting into tears when I approach the subject or looking like a complete obsessive looney toon.

What is the subject on the blog, I hear you say?? Baby Making!

Since I was a young girl when I became an Aunty at 7yrs old, I have longed for the day to be a Mummy. Now with my 30th birthday fast approaching I am in panic mode. I had ‘older’ parents and always vowed I would never be an older parent. I always imagined that by the age of 30 I would be married and be at least on my 3rd child but unfortunately I am not. I do however have a wonderful man who I have spent the last 12 years of my life with and for 7 of those we have been engaged. He is the man who I want to grow old with, be the father of my children and my husband for life, I do feel very lucky to have found him.

I quick intro: We stopped using all form of contraceptives 2 years ago, I say this with such a huge sigh, TWO YEARS!! has it really been that long, 2 years of spending every month surviving the 2ww, crying every month the witch arrives, getting hopes up when im a few days late and of course the constant symptom spotting which drives me insane!

Anyway this is a place I am going to confide my inner most thoughts, share my findings, log my journey and fingers crossed I can share some happier news with you soon.

What I want to gain from this blog, by posting all my thoughts here I hope to gain some sanity back in day-to-day life.

Now….where do I start…….

oh and if you pop by please say hello and introduce yourself.. 🙂