Still here…..waiting, wondering…pushing people away :(

I am still here, lurking in the back ground, reading all your blogs, following your storys, seeing birth announcements, scan pics on FB, pregnant ladies moaning constantly about being pregnant, gazing at new baby photos, reading new mummy moans about no sleep, looking at pregnant belly shots, dealing with a deep longing inside my heart, googling signs and symptoms, getting angry at AF arrival, tired of trying, tired of being happy for others, tired of smiling a fake smile, tired of life and I’ve pushed all my friends away.
I’m still here………..just me…..longing for that happy day…… 😦